Catching the Butterfly

I saw him from across the room.  His long brown hair brushed away from his face exposing his gentle hazel eyes.  His elbow on the desktop and hand supporting his head with his chin looking down at his pen tapping the glossy --

“Jennifer…  Excuse me, Miss Maine….”

I arrived back to Earth.  I snapped out of my trance and wearily looked up at my teacher.  She looked down at me furiously, her frizzed brown hair astray and lips pursed.  “Your grade can’t afford you to be staring at walls, Jennifer.” she shot.  

“Sorry, Miss Timmins”  I mumbled in a sarcastic tone.  I looked back at him and caught his eye for almost two seconds as we exchanged glances, then he looked away.  Ah, that moment.  It melted me into a sappy puddle of pure bliss.  It made my heart flutter in the way most young, naïve schoolgirls’ do.  You know… The way it feels when you catch a moth, hold it in your hand and it flies obnoxiously hitting your hand and tickling your palms with its soft, chalky little wings.

I leaned back into my chair, propped my feet onto the seat of the desk ahead of me, and looked down into the text.  

…2x+8y(9b-7a)…

I had to look up before I had drowned myself in my own confusion.  With a sigh I took one more quick glance at him and relieved my stressed thoughts.  At least there was one thing interesting to study in Algebra class.  Too bad it wouldn’t raise my grade, however.  
Opening my notebook, I find an empty page and start writing him a note… of course I left his name off the heading—just incase he was to walk by.

Hey,
I know we don’t talk much… but I was wondering if… Well I thought that maybe—

I stopped and read over what I had just written.  It was terrible.  Who am I kidding?  I can’t even process my thoughts in any sort of order… What made me think would I be able to do this?… I can’t do this.  I saw movement in the corner of my eye.  I looked curiously to his corner of the room and it was him.  He stood tall, stretching his arms then grabbing his books.  He looked  in my general direction as almost instantly, like an allergic reaction, I felt my heart leap into my throat.  He walked down his isle and seemed to be approaching mine… My heart began pounding heavily.  Could it be? Was he going to work with me?  I felt my face as hot as black pavement in August as I took my feet off the seat ahead of me, sat up and looked at him with hopeful eyes.  He looked right at me, I swear he did… My smile took over my face like a rash as I quickly snapped my notebook shut.  He turned down my isle and was walking toward me… closer and closer….

He’s going to sit right here and ask to work with me!  I know it!  That means he likes me! Right?  Of course that’s what it means!

My mind was in a frantic jumble and just as I inhaled to speak to him, my obsession… he walked past.

My heart deflated as his footsteps pierced it like a needle would a water balloon.    He finally sat two seats behind me in the row behind her.  Her with the long blonde hair and cute little toe ring.  I cringed at the thought of this as I heard her repetitive laugh behind me.  I could hear his soft voice from behind her head of air.  “You still wanted to go to the movies with me Friday, right?”  My heart quickly sunk to the pit of my stomach where it was lay to rest as I wondered Why can’t I ever be the one to catch a butterfly?